i want to go home!! i want to have a trip !!!!

my friend came to penang two days ago, i supposed to be happy right? although my last day of exam is on 21, i still very happy because can enjoy after the exam..but after everything planned well, there are some changes. we suddenly been told that we will be having Royal's dabate training. oh my god!! i lost my holiday. i supposed to have a very nice holiday with my friends..but..the debate trainining just ruined it. yesterday, so many surprises me n say ee got. lol...kumari and kar ee supposed to be coming to usm by the morning but...kumari's hp spoiled and they both standing at same area but did not see each other. weird weird weird!! they have to waste again rm35.10 to buy the new ticket and then come here.. stories continue............suprise not finsih yet....around 4 something in the evening...we got the call from them said that they went down at Butterworth..my god...luckily there is ferry for them to get back here..yea..finally they reached usm...today they left usm...so so so so jealous because they can have time to enjoy..i need to stay in usm till 28th of november..so so so sad..i dont want..everyday do the "wu liao" training..i m not debator, i am just adjuricator...aiks..training for what? as long as i have ears to listen and i have mouth to give comment then everything should be no problem..i still need to train for 5 days....argh argh argh!!! i want to go home i want to go trip. :( so so sad....very very very down.....have to sleep at a strange place somemore..i dont like the feelings..they said that 26th can go back to kl..then yesterday morning told us 27th then yesterday night told us 28th...haiz..what the fuck?? ok fine..after last night meeting...the seniors have a very funny arguement..lol..i dont know...as they like...but they are fighting for a plce of debator...hm..finally solved with fair selection that will be hold on 24th nov...i had a funny and dumpy and unhappy yesterday...!!!!!

what i have did to make seems like eveyrone getting angry with me?

hey..what i have did to make everyone angry with me?
when i treat something serious, no one believe me.
so what?
dont believe then dont believe la..
dont like that dont like la
why seems like i am the one always need to be blame?
what have i did?
i murdered someone?
is it?
................................................................
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
wanna scream...
writing nonsense...no one will ever understand how i feel..

总有一天我会有报应的

我总觉得总有一天我会有报应的
我对人的态度
我对爱的态度
应该有一天都会报在我身上吧

i can edit the blog but i cannot change the past

i can edit the blog that i wrote on the past but i cannot change the reality that has happened in the past..
the only thing that i can do is forget the unhappy thing that has happened and face the future
future is always there waiting for me
and past is for me to remember before i did something wrong
but i never realised my mistake in the past and i still repeating it till now
is it because i never really really get hurt thats why i dont know that i did something wrong?
if i can turn back the time, i will not choose to be the one that i am today...

past...

Past are irritating

i hate my past

but without past i will not know my present

but i couldnt blame my past

i am the one who wants to be the one i am today

what am i doing now?

do i realize?

i guess i dont realize what i am doing now

and who i am now

i should not be who i am now

but i am who i am now

why i will become like this?

is it myself to blame?

sometimes i feel so so depress

sometimes i feel so so happy

sometimes i feel so so sad

sometimes i feel so so jealous

sometimes i feel so so stress

sometimes i feel so so excited

sometimes i feel so so lovely

sometimes i feel so so enthusiasm

sometimes i feel so so great

sometimes i feel so so..................

who am i?

can someone tell me pls?

hahaha..HBT 100

lol..first time i translate poem in my entire life..thanks to the course for giving me the chance to translate a poem..thanks for my mom and dad for borne me out so that i can take this paper...hahaa...i think i getting crazy lately..hm hm hm...haha...yea..exam time should be crazy...today paper is not as hard as i think because i still can understand the question just i dont know the answer..everything i studied in the study week..yea..came out one question..better than nothing right..the books i studied in study week can be equal to the amount of books i study in whole 20 years..lol....yea..i dont like to read books...except those book that needed..so give a big clap to me..cos i read a lot and yea..first time in my life i translated a poem..and it is like shit..

sad and bad day

i have a very very bad day..
hate today...
feel like wanna die...
should i crash my head on the wall?

finally.....!!!!!!!!!!!!

finally my exam started....my god..first paper today..i dont know what i am doing while the exam...i was scared but finally the first paper gone...and the coming paper is on 7th november....so so tired today although did not do anything..hm hm hm...still have so so many days to go...till 21st i still cannot free cos still have debate practice..helppppp!!!!!!!!!!!!

feelings 1/11/2008 (Saturday)

Don’t know what to write actually. Hm….just suddenly not really in a very good mood. Yea..this is called mood. My friend told me yesterday mood came without reason, emotion came with reasons. But actually I know what is the reason. I don’t know why I will have such feeling. I know I will live in suffer if I have such feelings. Hm…just that I can’t control. Every time I heard that I don’t know why I will feel unhappy. Maybe I am feeling jealous to you. Yes, you always become the attention of everyone. When I walk with you I feel that I am so little and people will only look at you because you were so tall. When I walk with you, I lost my self-confidence. Yea we are very good friend and everyone sees us as very good friend. I admit that. But I know this is just my own problem. I think I have to change my mind set. These few days, all day study study study..i never become so hardworking before this. I am still scare. I feel myself inside were empty. Not even a single word in my mind. I scare I will lose. Exam coming soon..two more days to go…I have not time to waste. But I feel very bad because yea, I don’t like study. I wish to go back kl as soon as possible. I wish 21st come faster. I wish I could do my best and strive for the best. But..i think except study, praying will be a very important part too. I will pray in my heart every night. Exam is stressful……..i scare exam..i love exam..i hate exam….

ps: i thought of wanna edit a bit, but never mind la..let the si 8 po know la

沉重的心情

考试快到了
心情越来越沉重
压力越来越大
昨天心情超级差的
但是又不懂可以告诉谁
我想一个人的感觉会比较好吧
昨晚写了一篇日记很想上网把它寄了
但是。。。却。。
要死了！！！！！！