in the middle of the night

i woke up in the middle of the night
the first thing i will want to see is my phone
to see whether any new message from you

and i was disappointed every night
Everyone saying that i am too attached?
i thought u like it?
When we were in the same place, u like it
but now we were apart, you don't like it anymore?

I was hoping i will see u on Christmas
will it come true?
What are u doing now? This is the question in my mind all the time

I see you in my dreams
That's why i never wanna wake up in the morning
Cos i know u were not here when i wake up

Blue blue blue

today is my blue day!
everything seems so blue to me.
walking in a crowded fun park with a lonely heart
sitting in a crowded restaurant with a lonely heart
how good if i am a billionaire?
i think if i am a billionaire now, i could buy my happiness
how good if everything go on my way?
i will not be blue now

Its been long time

Its been long time i didn't update my blog
really long long time ago
since i went to Switzerland
i didn't update it.. :)

I was having too fun time there.
Miss there so much.
Now, back to Malaysia, problems came, that's why i am here to drop a word or two.

just felt that things never go smooth since i came back
Or maybe should say i didn't view things in another view
I felt everything is so unsure now
i know i am selfish cos i never stand on his situation to think
and i am selfish because i just thinking of myself
i only know how to give pressure
but does he know that i also having pressure now, that's why i ask every time?

I am also suffering
why i am not rich? IF i am, then i need not to think so much and take a flight and i will reach there again in a day.
i know his condition now is not so good as well, but i really want to see him so so much.
I miss so much the days i spent with him.
I miss so much the little room where we used to laugh, cry, crazy, shout, angry and all kind..
Now, because of distance, problems can't be solve so easily
I really in fear and worry now
Because i have too many unsure in my heart..
I felt so insecure you know? Nils..
Can you give me an answer and show me your confident that you can do it?
I am also having hard time here..

I hate waiting, i hate missing
Will i see him again?
this is the questions in my mind now..
I wish Santa brings me a present this year...