in the middle of the night

i woke up in the middle of the night
the first thing i will want to see is my phone
to see whether any new message from you

and i was disappointed every night
Everyone saying that i am too attached?
i thought u like it?
When we were in the same place, u like it
but now we were apart, you don't like it anymore?

I was hoping i will see u on Christmas
will it come true?
What are u doing now? This is the question in my mind all the time

I see you in my dreams
That's why i never wanna wake up in the morning
Cos i know u were not here when i wake up

Blue blue blue

today is my blue day!
everything seems so blue to me.
walking in a crowded fun park with a lonely heart
sitting in a crowded restaurant with a lonely heart
how good if i am a billionaire?
i think if i am a billionaire now, i could buy my happiness
how good if everything go on my way?
i will not be blue now

Its been long time

Its been long time i didn't update my blog
really long long time ago
since i went to Switzerland
i didn't update it.. :)

I was having too fun time there.
Miss there so much.
Now, back to Malaysia, problems came, that's why i am here to drop a word or two.

just felt that things never go smooth since i came back
Or maybe should say i didn't view things in another view
I felt everything is so unsure now
i know i am selfish cos i never stand on his situation to think
and i am selfish because i just thinking of myself
i only know how to give pressure
but does he know that i also having pressure now, that's why i ask every time?

I am also suffering
why i am not rich? IF i am, then i need not to think so much and take a flight and i will reach there again in a day.
i know his condition now is not so good as well, but i really want to see him so so much.
I miss so much the days i spent with him.
I miss so much the little room where we used to laugh, cry, crazy, shout, angry and all kind..
Now, because of distance, problems can't be solve so easily
I really in fear and worry now
Because i have too many unsure in my heart..
I felt so insecure you know? Nils..
Can you give me an answer and show me your confident that you can do it?
I am also having hard time here..

I hate waiting, i hate missing
Will i see him again?
this is the questions in my mind now..
I wish Santa brings me a present this year...

Mid valley- 26/1/2010

i went to mid valley yesterday
saw few things that i would like to bring up here:
1. Tooth Fairy: I wanna watch some non-comedy movie initially, but i didn't found any good one, so decided to watch "Tooth Fairy". i thought it will be a boring and typical comedy but it turn out to be quite interesting, thou is still comedy, but interesting and really funny one. Actually is comedy + fantasy + love. i usually don't watch comedy in cinema cos i think it is waste of money but i change my thought yesterday, comedy might turn out to be good movie sometime when you are not really in a good mood. (argued at the beginning, sorry, i am really sorry about my stupid emotional act.)

2. After the movie, went to shopping, wanna find a pair of shoes. So, as i am finding, we went to the gardens. all branded shop, and yea, can't find what i want there. At XX cafe in The garden, i saw 3 monks hi-tea-ing there. There are a lot of cheaper places for them to have coffee and tea, but they choose an expensive one. isn't that is not right? they get money from public through the temple, they using public money to enjoy themselves. Just like there are a lot of RICH monk out there actually. What you think?

3. We went back to home by KTM. not really crowded in KTM that time because it is already quite late. So, as we are talking, we saw someone (a woman) getting money from the passenger, (she can talks in 3 languages and only one eye is blind) she still have the ability to work. after a while, she walk to me and ask: "Ms. Do you have...?" i immediately said i don't have anything. Then she said angrily: "i just want to ask you what time is it now? what don't have don't have? u think i am beggar. i saw your face also know you are stingy." i was angry. and he calm me down. she is clearly a beggar, and nobody ask "Do u have..?" when the person is asking about time. i was really angry and F***, i scolded by a beggar and she said i am stingy. FML

luckily everything ended up quite well, but i am kinda sad because i am leaving Malaysia soon, but i know i will be enjoying there. Europe, here i come!!

=.=

haha. i guess most of the ppl misunderstood my previous post is about love.
it is about a friend. about friendship. :)
i also misunderstand it when i read it again after i posted :P